Lisa Glatt

If You Have Sex With Your Friend

If you have sex with your friend
you know
it will change the color
of the air around him. The air
will go from plain air-color
to blue. And this blue
will outline your friend's face and neck and shoulders.
And the next time the two of you are being friendly, dining, in a room
full of other friends
he will mention, casually, a gifted woman from work
and you will see her
sitting in your baked potato
with her good legs crossed. You will look
at the blue around your friend's body
and grind your teeth. You will push
the plate away.

Even if you only mess around with your friend
you know
you will mess-up the friend part
and as hard as you try to return
to the time before the fondle
you will fail. You will look
at your friend at friend events
and your skin will twitch. And all you have
and have not done with your friend
will fill the front of your black bra.

If you have just kissed and touched your friend
you will fantasize
when he calls you on the phone.
Wrapping the cord around your finger
you will see his penis. He will ask you
for advice about women
and you will give it.

Later, you will sit
at a dinner party
and watch the woman's hand on your friend's leg.
You will hate the woman attached to the hand on your friend's leg.
You will hate the leg itself
for not wrapping around your own, for not
insisting on you.

Months after the fondle
you will go out with your friend to the friend bar.
You will sit with a bottle of beer in your hand
and suddenly you will remember the veins on his arms,
his Levis in a circle at his feet,
his wet face on your pillow.
And when the beer bottles are empty
and lined up, you will fixate
on your friend's lips. You will feel your tongue
inside your mouth. You will tell yourself
anything can survive
a night. You will tell yourself
air is never blue.